“How to be Perfectly Miserable.” Todd Glassberg’s Tongue & Cheek Humor

by Todd Glassberg

I received a little printed form the other day with a rather intriguing title: “How to be Perfectly Miserable.” And it goes on to list a few things you can do that will not only
make you perfectly miserable but also keep you that way.

Here’s the list of 15
ways to stay miserable: (1) Think about yourself. (2) Talk about yourself. (3)
Use the personal pronoun “I” as often as possible in your conversation. (4)
Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. (5) Listen greedily to
what people say about you. (6) Insist on consideration and respect. (7) Demand
agreement with your own views on everything. (8) Sulk if people are not
grateful to you for favors shown them. (9) Never forget a service you may have
rendered. (10) Expect to be appreciated. (11) Be suspicious. (12) Be sensitive
to slights. (13) Be jealous and envious. (14) Never forget a criticism. (15)
Trust nobody but yourself.

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