Todd Glassberg Front Porch Pespective – Why are people such @ssholes Pt. 1

It has been a quiet period , shall I say a moment of introspection. Living the dream. Mind you, I value my family, my friends and the opportunities that lay in front of me. However life or shall I say people from time to time place road blocks before me. I could choose to ignore them and step around or if necessary over these barriers.

I know , understand and believe that the greatest victory in life is overcoming these obstacles and fulfilling my dreams. I am drawn into it, I want to understand this mechanism or shall I say maniacal behavior.

It is the challenge that I face,  Do I utilize my capable brain power or do I use my physical prowess. The rational mind says use the brain, the thinking process of productive activities.

I suddenly think: Why are people such @ssholes

“Why do people try to make us, feel so bad?”

My thought came completely out of the blue and I’m sure it was laying just under my concious surface. However, without missing a beat, I  replied to myself , “People only have as much power as I give them.”

Suddenly angry at myself, I thought, If people are somehow making me feel bad, it’s because I am letting themI am giving them that power. The only way they could make me feel bad is if I place more importance on their opinion than you do my own.

I’ve always liked that exchange of reasoning. I’ve never been one to relish a victim status

So this thought process always leads me to do research on what I want to write in this Front Porch Perspective.

I’ve been reading a lot about the Internet and how people have a tendency to act like @ssholes when they’re anonymous. It’s not just anonymity, people misbehave when they don’t have to express themselves face to face. The theory is the anonymity / non intimacy makes them a jerk. In reality, they may all be perfectly nice people, but the nefarious Internet and electronic communication  forces them to behave in less than acceptable character.

I think that’s all a bunch of bull. An expression of ratinalization.

The people that buy into this theory are the same simple-minded sheep that also buy into the theory that human beings are innately goodpeople. We are not. We can be whiny, manipulative, greedy, stupid, jealous, vengeful, selfish cows. Very few people in the history of the world were genuinely kind people.

If anything, it is society that makes them appear nice.

Don’t believe me?

Take a really nice man and give him millions of dollars. Talk to him in a couple of years and see how nice he really is. I’ve spent enough time around people with money to learn that people are only nice when they feel they have something to lose. If a guy has a bank vault full of priceless diamonds, his perception is that he doesn’t need people anymore. It is only then when his true colors are revealed.

The same effect can be produced after giving someone too much fame. Have any of you ever met anyone famous? In my old line of work, I met quite of few actors and actresses. An elitist sense of entitlement leaks off of them in choking waves when the cameras are off. You would literally be shocked at how nasty America’s Sweetheart can act when she doesn’t have a script in front of her. I mean, why the hell do you think they make their nannies and servants sign confidentiality agreements? Trust me, it’s not because they’re afraid their employees will shout from the rooftops all their positive character traits.

Fame and money don’t make good people bad. Fame and money give already bad people the perception that they have nothing to lose by being honest. It is only when someone has nothing to lose that we get to see their true colors.

Personally, I  love the Internet for that very reason. If it takes a false sense of anonymity to get people comfortable enough to be honest for a change, then so be it. I value truth over nice. But I don’t value abrasive stupidity. People need to be truthful not only with others but with themselves.

Besides, an opinion on the Internet or in an email /text can only hurt if we let it.

First of all, I’ve noticed that people nowadays lack the ability to give true criticism based on the basic truth of a situation and they definitely can’t handle the brand of critism that gets dished out. We love to build heroes and then shred them . Today people hide their own shortcomings in how they attack others. No one makes any attempt to see the value in a negative viewpoint. Instead, they respond with righteous indignation and are shockingly quick to demand Victim Status. Any opinion that is not presented in a way that the recipient perceives as nice is immediately discounted and the messengeris dismissed as jealous, evil, hurtful, and cruel. And while that may be true of the messenger, that doesn’t mean there is no validity in their argument. Automatically shying away from harsh words on the Internet because you lack the coping skills to deal with a negative opinion of yourself is more cowardly than being mean on the Internet, people.

The flip side to this is putting too much stock in what others think about you. Since I’ve started this blog, I’ve have seen and become aware of the evil, cruel, hateful, stupid, immature, meandering, a sociopathic, electronic communications. I have not cried myself to sleep. Not once. First of all, I can see  the points in a lot of those statements. But more importantly, I can see where those statements lack merit. Ultimately, I am the only expert on my psyche. Why would I value someone’s opinion of myself over my own? Why would I give a nameless, faceless, stranger on the Internet the power to shame me, humiliate me, or hurt me? Why should my self esteem be so fragile that Joe BlowJo from Arizona can completely destroy it with a few casually typed out sentences?

It shouldn’t. But if it does, perhaps you need to look inwardly to find what is lacking as opposed to playing the part of the victim being bullied by the big, bad Internet/ananymus . The Internet hurts you only when you let it. And people are assholes. That’s human nature and it’s been a given for thousands of years. But that doesn’t make them liars and it most assuredly doesn’t make you perfect.

If you really desire to grow and evolve as an individual, it’s best to glean what you can from the negativity….and chuck the rest.

 

 

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One thought on “Todd Glassberg Front Porch Pespective – Why are people such @ssholes Pt. 1

  • My friend, as much as I agree with you about a majority of what you have laid down on the screen I have to disagree with you on one item that I feel bares further introspection by you. The point you make about human beings not being innately good is flawed in one very important respect. Love. Love and the capacity to love. Some may argue that it is a learned behavior. I believe otherwise. I believe that we are all like an onion. Some onions are rotten on the outside and that is what we see. Those rotten layers can be many layer deep. The more rotten layers a “person” has the harder it is to get to the less rotten layers beneath. It also takes longer to get through those outer rotten layers when we are trying to reach someone we feel is salvageable. These layers as with an onion get rotten over time. Onions aren’t “born” rotten, that comes with improper cultivation, handling, environment, and care. We don’t see the good layers through the bad and as an avid cook I can tell you that throwing away an onion because the outer layer is rotten is foolish as an onion that was rotten to the core would have never made it to the grocer’s bin. @ssholes are, for the most part, onions with several rotten layers between you and a salvageable core. The question is do we have the patience to peel back the rotten layers or do we throw them back into the bin to continue to rot. The litmus test is in that question.

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